At some point in every single man’s life, he reaches a realisation that maybe the unattached caper isn’t the carefree, booze-soaked booty call it’s hyped up to be...
So what are the factors behind this flip in thinking? Let’s go through some of them.
From casual sex to formal sex.
Despite being an immutable (ahem) phallusy of the male beast, one-night stands tend to lose their lustre. Sure the sex is fun and the novelty factor adds its own frisson, but they fail to make a dent in the undeniable sense of emptiness that accompanies these liaisons. When men start wondering whether there’s more to be had than just physical contact, they begin looking for someone to share a more substantial connection with.
Following the herd
We all know how men bang on about their independence, but one look at male peer pressure – “C’mon, let’s all get Star Wars tattoos” – is enough to dispel this notion. The point is, when the first brave soldier in a group of blokes decides to immerse himself in a relationship, the rest will ride him like Seabiscuit. However, they’re also silently envying the security, support and affection he enjoys. In short, having a guinea pig to follow makes them more likely to go there themselves.
It’s not working out
There are few women who haven’t been dumped, disillusioned or disrespected by a man who decided that romance wasn’t his first priority as he was “focusing on a career right now”. Eventually, however, it becomes apparent that, even with 16-hour days, performance bonuses and rapid promotion, he still comes home to nothing and no-one.
Add the threat of redundancies to the diminishing value of loyalty to bosses, who care more about their shareholders than their employees, and you end up with a significant number of men who realise their job will never love them
back. So, perhaps, it’s time to start looking for someone who will.
Homing in on you
Among men, there is a surprising correlation between mortgages and settling down. It’s as if by purchasing a property – or, at least, a slice of one – they begin to realise the rewards that come with a long-term investment.
Seeing how it works with dollars and cents somehow flicks a switch that allows the concept to translate to relationships. The fact that buying a home makes them feel like an actual grown-up – and perhaps plants a seed that they should maybe behave like one – is neither here nor there.
The gag reflex
Anyone who’s ever scanned an online dating site will see the word “humour” crop up like sunburn at a Club Med resort. And it’s no secret that, as the physical heat of a relationship fades over time, the shared sense of comedy only gets stronger. Private jokes abound and you can crack one another up over anything.
When a woman can make a man laugh consistently, he begins to think about a future filled with such levity, and it’s a damn attractive proposition. So both your nanna and skanky BFF are wrong: The way to a man’s heart is not through his belly or pants, but his funny bone. Extra points if you do an impression of Stewie from Family Guy, Cartman from South Park or anyone from Jersey Shore.
By David Smiedt