Monday

Monday is a day for grunting at colleagues because the weekend has drained your ability to properly form words with your mouth. This day is not for dating. Dates can be awkward enough without you faking interest while the guy– no matter how hot – bangs on about his equally boring day. You’ll end up with a double case of the yawns and forever associate him (and him, you) with Mondayitis.

Tuesday

Forget tight-ass night at the cinema – Tuesday is sex night! After making it through two work days, you deserve to satiate your libido … with the same man who would’ve bored you to sleep the night before.

Tonight, he can fall asleep in your bed after a vigorous skin-slapping sesh. A Tuesday meet-up is a sign of great things to come. He’s so keen on you that he’s okay with forsaking the Wednesday rule (see below) and, as he’s eager to break social norms, he’ll probably do the same in the bedroom. Hello, kink fest!

Wednesday

Serial daters say this is the best night of the week. The three pros: everyone’s happy because it’s hump day; if the thought of his body parts touching yours makes you shudder, you can end the date at 8pm with work being a valid reason; and if the date’s going well, it’s close enough to the weekend to be able to linger a little longer. The con? Wednesday usually means you’re both still working out if you really like each other.

Thursday

Almost anything goes on a Thursday night date. It’s like a Wednesday, with the safety of a flawless exit strategy, but it has the freedom of no-curfew Friday, too. That is, as long as you’re okay with a hangover and potential case of pashrash at work the next day.

Friday

The fact that you both were willing to give this night up means that you must have high hopes for each other. The Friday date can either go the way of Monday night’s snooze-fest, due to end-of-week exhaustion, or it could be totally loose, ending the next morning with you in his bed, unable to recall his name, thanks to a throbbing tequila induced headache. Don’t say we didn’t try to warn you!

Saturday

Schedule first-time dates with extreme caution. If you’re not sure how much you like the guy, and Saturday is your only free day, organise a late afternoon drink with a two-hour limit. That way, you can decide if you want the date to continue or not. And you’ll still have time to debrief with friends afterwards, so the day won’t be a total write-off.

Sunday

This is the sensible grown-up date night of the week – a relaxing wind-down day, perfect for low-key catch-ups. Sunday is great for a fourth or fifth date, as you’ve got to know each other and are comfortable to hang out minus the booze, mood lighting or heavy make-up. In fact, this could be lurve.