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ASK SOMEONE WHO KNOWS
Charmaine Saunders, Counsellor
Having relationship problems? Ask for advice from our personal counsellor, who has helped thousands of people to resolve their issues in a relaxed, practical and positive way. Her main areas of therapy are relationships, sexuality and positive thinking. She is also a professional writer with six published books, and has worked in TV and radio for over 20 years.
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"unless he wants an open relationship which is also up to u, lay down the law...and if he dont like t..."
Question:
When I met my husband I had no idea about sex, and now I still don’t get it. We never engage in foreplay because he doesn’t want to wait that long. We had a baby two years ago and since then we’ve only made love twice. But both times we started but he couldn’t finish. He’s on medication but it shouldn’t affect his libido. How can I be more confident in bed and supportive with what he’s going through at the same time?
from Tanya Leigh
Answer:
Medication may not affect his libido but it certainly can affect his performance. Your letter raises several different issues.
One is your inexperience with sex and it sounds as if he wasn't that much better! Sex is natural but like many other skills, require experience to improve. You two are like the blind leading the blind. Then childbirth can often separate a couple sexually because of the demands of parenthood, fatigue, stress, loss of libido, lack of opportunity and so on.
After two years, though, it's become a serious proble, Even if you want to be supportive, you can't fix this on your own.
Your husband should check with his doctor about the impotence as it won't go away by itself. Your taking a more dominant role in bed now could actually make things worse.
Just be patient a bit longer but set a deadline and see that he keeps to it.
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