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Solve your bedroom issues with our sex and relationship therapist. Jo-Anne works from a holistic perspective drawing on her training in Psychology, Sociology, Eastern spirituality as well as her research in healthy life-style and ageing. Her business The Pleasure Spot was established in 1993 and was the first in Australia to cater to women and couples sexuality with products that are both fun and educational. Visit her site at www.pleasurespot.com.au.

Need Advice?

" so much to think about!! respect yourself, walk away!! the mature thing is not to play games, to se..."

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Question:

When I met my husband I had no idea about sex, and now I still don’t get it. We never engage in foreplay because he doesn’t want to wait that long. We had a baby two years ago and since then we’ve only made love twice. But both times we started but he couldn’t finish. He’s on medication but it shouldn’t affect his libido. How can I be more confident in bed and supportive with what he’s going through at the same time? from Tanya Leigh

Answer:

Medication may not affect his libido but it certainly can affect his performance.  Your letter raises several different issues. 

One is your inexperience with sex and it sounds as if he wasn't that much better! Sex is natural but like many other skills, require experience to improve. You two are like the blind leading the blind.  Then childbirth can often separate a couple sexually because of the demands of parenthood, fatigue, stress, loss of libido, lack of opportunity and so on.

After two years, though, it's become a serious proble, Even if you want to be supportive, you can't fix this on your own.

Your husband should check with his doctor about the impotence as it won't go away by itself. Your taking a more dominant role in bed now could actually make things worse.

Just be patient a bit longer but set a deadline and see that he keeps to it.

 

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Comments (34)

• Posted 28 Aug 2008 by Nat
  Tell him to call you when he grows up!
  Report this
• Posted 29 Sep 2008 by Tom
  Why are you still with him.Tell him to p off. What do you think he would do if you were seeing your ex? Don't get trapped, walk away, be strong!! Best of luck
  Report this
• Posted 29 Sep 2008 by Tom
  Why are you still with him.Tell him to p off. What do you think he would do if you were seeing your ex? Don't get trapped, walk away, be strong!! Best of luck
  Report this
• Posted 30 Sep 2008 by kast
  one word, DILDO. They dont complain and theyre there when you want them lol tell him to stop his **** and give you attention or you'll have to go elsewhere to get some!!
  Report this
• Posted 15 Oct 2008 by Steph
  honey, there is only one thing to say; the explanation that he needs to go see his ex is obviously because there is an insecurity with himself, nothing wrong with you. And to go and do the same thing as him, doesnt make it any better- it just means your sinking to his level. If you like the guy you got to confront him about this and if he does it again then the answer is simple- being with a cheater is not worth your time when you know you deserve better. It's his bad luck if he loses something good.
  Report this

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