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Solve your bedroom issues with our sex and relationship therapist. Jo-Anne works from a holistic perspective drawing on her training in Psychology, Sociology, Eastern spirituality as well as her research in healthy life-style and ageing. Her business The Pleasure Spot was established in 1993 and was the first in Australia to cater to women and couples sexuality with products that are both fun and educational. Visit her site at www.pleasurespot.com.au.

Need Advice?

"threesomes are fun but trust is very important. theyre supposed to be fun but be warned they can bri..."

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Question:

My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now and we have both decided we want a threesome. I am attracted to other woman but am a little nervous that I would become jealous if he gives the other woman too much attention, and im not too sure I would like the idea of him having intercourse with another woman. What are some common ground rules regarding this area? from Jasmine

Answer:

This is a difficult situation because one person is going to miss out and it will probable be you. I don’t know of many relationships where having a threesome ends in a good experience, because it bring up jealousy and often erodes any closeness that the couple have.

I feel this is about spicing up your sex life together, rather than letting a third person potentially break up your relationship, which often happens.

If you decide to go ahead it is not easy having ground rules as no matter what your intention might be before it happens when you are in the situation it changes.

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Comments (86)

• Posted 29 Jul 2008 by sophie
  A threesome is about sharing the love! don't do it if theres even the slightest possibility of jealousy involved. you have to trust your partner. sure he might give the new girl a bit more attention, but at the end of the day hes coming back to you, not her.
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• Posted 30 Jul 2008 by vanessa
  Who said a threesome has to be 2 girls and a guy , If he wants a threesome why not suggest to him you ,him and another guy. Soon see how open to threesomes he is then.
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• Posted 03 Aug 2008 by Biggles
  My Gf invited me to have a 3some with her and a girlfriend of hers. It became a regular feature but it turned out to be an excuse for the 2 girls to get it on whilst I could do either or both as I wished. Great fun but it lacked attention from either girl for me. I found it all a bit ordinary, really.
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• Posted 03 Aug 2008 by jane
  i also had a threesome with my partner and a girlfriend. i was initially worried of the jealousy factor but in the moment there was none. my experience turned out badly as my 'friend' passed on an std to myself and my partner. so consider that before jumping in the deep end...
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• Posted 04 Aug 2008 by secret
  3somes i would seriously suggest that you dont go there. especially if you have your doubts, i had one with my partner and he soon after left me for the person that we had it with sure it was all fun and exciting at the time but trust me its not worth it if they love you they wont even suggest it. but thats my point of view cos he left me for her even though im pregnant with his baby.
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