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ASK SOMEONE WHO KNOWS
Charmaine Saunders, Counsellor
Having relationship problems? Ask for advice from our personal counsellor, who has helped thousands of people to resolve their issues in a relaxed, practical and positive way. Her main areas of therapy are relationships, sexuality and positive thinking. She is also a professional writer with six published books, and has worked in TV and radio for over 20 years.
Need Advice?
"Wow, your situation sucks. I agree with 'How horibble' that you should forgive him once but not twic..."
Question:
I caught my husband having an affair on line with an ex-girlfriend. They found each other on Facebook and spoke constantly. He said some pretty hurtful stuff and told some huge lies. He has since promised not to be in contact with her but I can't seem to get it out of my head! How do I get over this? from Tracy
Answer:
You'll need to make sure he doesn't talk to her anymore but I feel the problem runs a lot deeper than this particular woman. If he gets hooked onto online interaction to the point of obsession which this sounds like, he'll probably do it whether with this woman or another.
The fact this it was his ex makes it more hurtful to you, I imagine but it's a general issue as well. People online are inclined to exaggerate or even lie, make up a fictitious life or worse, so what your husband did is not actutally so unusual. What you'll need to do is get him to face his problem and seek help because truly, it won't stop as things stand now. Forgiving him is important and offering him your support could make all the difference.
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