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Charmaine

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Having relationship problems? Ask for advice from our personal counsellor, who has helped thousands of people to resolve their issues in a relaxed, practical and positive way. Her main areas of therapy are relationships, sexuality and positive thinking. She is also a professional writer with six published books, and has worked in TV and radio for over 20 years. Visit her site www.charmainesaunders.com

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Question:

I am in love with one of my best friends. The thing is that he lives on the other side of the world and the last time I saw him was 2 years ago. I am usually very cynical about love, as I am very unromantic and I'm always thinking logically, but can't seem to stop thinking about him. We speak every week and I have been having these feelings for over a year now. Also, he has a girlfriend who he is very serious about. What should I do? from Celeste

Answer:

You need to decide if it's really love or a fantasy. As you say, you're not the "romantic type", but we can all fall prey to our imaginations.

I suggest you scour your soul for the true reason you feel this way. If he's a friend and he's already involved elsewhere, how did you come to get ideas about loving him?

Is it the call of the unattainable? Do you just miss him a lot and are mixing up the emotions?

Once you've sorted out these various possibilities, release the feelings once and for all as they're oniy causing you pain.

When you're ready, allow yourself to start meeting new people and perhaps you'll be able to redirect the love you have inside you to another person in time.

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