Party planners: the job title says it all. They get paid to arrange events and ensure everything runs perfectly. But it doesn’t matter how much care they put into the prep, there will always be something that goes wrong. We convinced a few anonymous party gurus to reveal their craziest stories.

Riding the bus

“My company arranges party tours on a luxury bus, where things often get a little wild. We recently hosted a trip for corporate bankers. One of the female senior executives, who was extremely drunk, did an impromptu striptease down the aisle – in front of her entire team. Our host tried to intervene, but our wannabe stripper wasn’t having any of it. She took off all her clothes, gyrated on a pole and masturbated in front of her colleagues. Another time, two friends on a hens’ party did a faux lesbian act, much to the delight of a sports team who was also on the bus. On that very same tour, our staff caught a couple, who had met earlier that day, coming out of the toilet with cheeky grins on their face. They later heard the guy bragging that the
woman had given him a blow job – he even showed his mates the lipstick on his penis as evidence. Classy.”

Smellavision

“Working in celebrity events, you often have to turn a blind eye to certain things, drug use being a major one. Recently, even I was shocked by the behaviour of one female TV presenter. She was in the VIP toilet at a daytime event, brazenly going in and out of a bathroom cubicle, doing coke with a couple of her friends. She didn’t even bother trying to be discreet about it – she came out wiping her nose and sniffing loudly. I’d never pass info onto gossip columnists, however, someone obviously did. A few days later, I saw a blind item in the newspaper about her toilet escapades!”

goodies, goody goody yum yum

“I’m not sure what it is about goodie bags that makes people go crazy. At my events, I always try to keep them under lock and key, otherwise they have a tendency to go missing. One time, I had to leave 50 extra bags at a bar overnight after a party. The next morning, my assistants went to pick them up, only to find that they’d been rifled through. The venue manager was really angry and insisted on playing back the CCTV footage from the night. The video showed two staff members sneaking into
the storeroom and helping themselves to the contents of the bags. Needless to say, they were both sacked on the spot. Another time, at a really swish event, I saw a celebrity crawl on her hands and knees under a table, where the goodie
bags were kept, grab a whole bunch of them and sneak out the back entrance. We ended up blacklisting the star from future parties.”

Bonkday girl

“I was managing a no-expense-spared 21st party for a really wealthy girl, but during the night, she disappeared. Her parents were ready to do the speeches but couldn’t find her. An hour later, she returned, hair a mess, with one of the bar staff sheepishly slipping in behind her. He bragged to me later that he’d had sex with the birthday girl – I think I was the only person who realised!”

A nut case

“Catering to dietary requirements and being aware of food allergies are very important in events. At a recent party, we were told one of the VIP guests had an extreme nut allergy, which we briefed the wait staff on. I’m not sure how the miscommunication happened but the poor man was served a pesto sauce! He went into anaphylactic shock and was rushed to hospital. The atmosphere dampened pretty quickly after that.”

Bending rules

“At an event a few years ago, I was struck by how sexy the DJ was. Even though I usually pride myself on my professionalism, I felt instantly attracted to him and, in between sets, we chatted like crazy. I later got his business card. Two weeks later, we arranged to meet at his house, at his suggestion. I told myself, ‘I meet clients at their home all the time, so why not?’, but I knew this was different. My relationship with my boyfriend was in trouble at the time, so when this DJ started flirting with me, I went for it. We were in his home office and as I got up to get a drink, he grabbed me, pulled my skirt up and bent me over his desk, where we had the most amazing sex of my life. We continued to be friends with benefits and actually scheduled fake
parties and events so we could continue our sessions. No-one suspected a thing.”

A wee little booze problem

“Working in the events industry means you’re always surrounded by copious amounts of champagne and cocktails. However, I continually tell my young party planners that, just because the free booze is flowing, it doesn’t give you a licence to get smashed on the job. You’re supposed to be professional! I know of one woman who got so drunk at her own party, she pissed herself. I’m not joking. She was off her face and literally peed her pants, all down the front, and had to be carried out
of the venue. Talk about career suicide!”

Mother of all demands

“My company specialises in children’s parties for clients who, as my mum would say, have more money than sense. I’ve seen mothers pop pills and do shots of tequila at 9.30am on a Saturday before their kid’s friends arrive! Some of their demands are incredibly outrageous, too. We’re often told to ‘make the rain stop’ – like we have control over the weather. One trophy wife, who clearly wasn’t known for her intelligence, requested a real dinosaur for her son’s fifth birthday. Not a skeleton, an actual living, breathing dinosaur! It was interesting explaining to her that they’ve been extinct for 65 million years. We managed to get some very large life-like dinosaurs that her son and his friends loved, but our client still wasn’t totally satisfied.”

In pictures: The best parties of 2011