CLEO sex dictionary

“Horny hangover: The mysterious and overwhelming urge for sex the day after a night of hard drinking, despite being completely dehydrated and having a massive headache.” - Urban Dictionary

Position 1: The “I hurt everywhere”

Erotic instructions: This is all about minimal movement. Lie on top of your partner, doona wrapped snugly around your neck. Once he’s inside, gently rock your hips back and forth.

Pleasure pay-off: The sex will burn some of the calories you consumed last night, while the warmth of the quilt will help you sweat out the booze!

Position 2: The “I just woke up in my clothes and am still drunk”

Erotic instructions: Leave your dress on for the naughty, just-couldn’t-wait vibe, remove your knickers and lie on your back. Have your partner lie on his side, turned toward you, and swing your legs over his hips and thighs, making a bridge over them so he can gently thrust into you.

Pleasure pay-off: It's not very aerobic, so you won’t tire yourself out. You’re also in the perfect position to get him to stroke your clit for extra fun!

Position 3: The “I still smell of last night’s beer and ciggies”

Erotic instructions: Only one option – love in the tub! For water moves that are so hot they'll fog up the mirror, start with your partner reclining in the bath. Straddle him, facing his feet, and lower yourself onto his penis. Lean forward so you're resting on your palms, with him holding you by the hips, and ride away!

Pleasure pay-off: You’ll be in control as well as clean! He’ll have the bonus of a super- voyeuristic view!