Forget couple rows over marriage and babies. These days, one sneaky chocolate bar purchase could end it all.
Money. We all have some, want more and dream about winning enough to quit work and jet around the world like a celeb. And, it seems, we’re arguing with our partners about cash-related issues more than ever before.
Even more so than the usual offenders (like not having enough sex, moving in together, getting married, and having babies). Yep, finances – including such things as budgeting, paying rent and the division of your grocery bills – are fast becoming a major factor in relationship breakdowns.
Why money causes fights
Last year, Relationships Australia and Credit Union Australia found that 40 per cent of people believed financial stress placed huge pressure on relationships – compared to just 18 per cent of people two years earlier. The current economic climate is only adding to this tension, leading to more disagreements, rows and even bitter break-ups. “Money is always an issue for people – and it’s not [just] about how much cash you have,” says Anne Hollonds, CEO of Relationships Australia. “It creates arguments or it causes people to be emotionally distant from each other, because they can’t discuss these things.”
And ladies, it seems as though we’re more concerned about $$$ than guys. “While 37 per cent of women rate financial woes as a cause of relationship splits involving them or people around them, only 30 per cent of men express the same view,” explains Hollonds. So, why is money such a touchy subject?
Shoppers vs investors
According to CLEO’s resident cash expert, Jody Fenton (boutiquemoney.com.au), your upbringing is one factor that will affect your money “personality”. “No two people come from exactly the same beliefs about money,” she explains. “For example, did your parents tell you that you couldn’t have something because money didn’t grow on trees? If they did, and your partner’s parents didn’t, you’re likely to view and spend money differently.” Identifying your money personality can prove beneficial in the long run. But Fenton warns, “Things can become problematic when one person in the relationship is a shopper, while the other is more of an accumulator or investor. Shoppers are those people who enjoy spending money and often have no idea why their bank account is empty two weeks before pay day; on the other hand, the latter are more likely to sacrifice spending cash today to look after the future.”
Regardless of where you fit in, you should take measures to work out how you’re each going to use your money. “Shoppers could do with some help to work out a spending plan and set financial goals, though they do resent being told what they can spend their money on. Accumulators and investors can easily be frustrated with a partner who appears to be frittering away their future on clothes or Saturday night drinks.”