Hollywood’s “perfect ending” rom-coms could be making you undateable. Find out why...
It’s the breaking news story your boyfriend has always dreamt of quoting to you: “Romantic comedies are bad for a woman’s relationship health” – and it recently appeared across numerous media outlets around the world. (Insert the disbelieving cries of hundreds of thousands of females here.)
Relationship experts at a UK university have found that rom-coms promote unrealistic expectations when it comes to love, and that fans of them often fail to communicate properly with their partners.
Love expectations
For example, rather than speaking to their boyfriends about how they feel, they prefer reasoning, such as, “How can we be soul mates if you can’t tell what I’m thinking?”, which isn’t ideal (unless you happen to be dating a mind-reader).
Psychologist Dr Bjarne Holmes, who headed the study, reveals: “Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you, then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it.”
He adds, “We now have evidence that popular media, such as romantic comedies, play a role in perpetuating these ideas.
Unrealistic ideals?
“The problem is that, while most of us know perfectly well the notion of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realise.”
Anne Hollonds, CEO of Relationships Australia (NSW), agrees. “All girls love a good rom-com, but we need to be careful we don’t get sucked into thinking that complex relationship issues can be resolved in the space of a two-hour movie!
“While romantic attraction is what kicks things off, a long-term partnership requires a lot of hard work and sustained investment in order for a couple to do well together as a team.”