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This is why cocktails rule

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Going to an all girls private college just breeds bitchiness. I would know, I went to one from year 7 until year 12 and perfected the evil eye/face-scrunch combo during that time. It was probably like that at a lot of schools.

The thing is, it sets you up for an adult life of being immediately suspicious of other women. And it shouldn’t be like that at all! Where’s the love people? Where the love?

That’s why I’m a huge fan of cocktails. Cocktails are like strawberry-flavoured social lubricant designed for women. With each sip, the acid tongue becomes sweeter. We bond as we pass each other trying to balance an overflowing martini while walking in 6-inch heels.

We send a sympathetic smile when someone accidentally spills a drink. We lovingly give each other man advice while waiting in line in the toilets. This is the girl power utopia that the Spice Girls went on about while we were still in uniforms!

I recently headed to Cargo Bar in Sydney for the Freestyle Cocktail Sessions, where I got to drink cocktails made by the city’s best bartenders. Here’s how the night went, just to prove my point.



Cocktail 1: 11 Canes of Death, made by Lee Potter Cavanagh of the Victoria Room
Me: “Ohmigod, there’s a girl wearing a dress I bought years ago. I’ve never worn it out because I realised it was ugly … Mmm, this cocktail is really good.”

Cocktail 2: Flible, made by Toby Hilton of The Winery by Gazebo
Me: “[After sipping other people’s drinks] this cocktail has got to be my favourite of the night. It’s like sangria, but with a kick. Yum, yum, yum.”

Toilet break
Me: “Are you waiting in line?”
Woman A: “You go first.”
Me: “Oh, are you sure?”
Woman A: “Yeah, of course! Go ahead!”
Me: “Thanks so much! By the way, I luuuve your shoes!”
Woman A: “I love yours too!”

Cocktail 3: Berry & Basil, made by Phil Gannon of Cargo Lounge
Me: “Aaaw, there’s that girl wearing that dress I hate. Hey, I just had an idea! Maybe I can slash my version of that dress and pour fake blood all over it for the Halloween party! Thanks girl with the bad dress. You rock.”

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