13 Nov, 2009

Hey, it happens! And it’s the reason lots of single girls keep a few cheeky condoms in their handbag. But how does one conduct an overnight romance with style? CLEO asked Jean Hannah Edelstein, author of Himglish And Femalese (Random House, $34.95), to guide us through the dreaded morning after.

You’ve completely forgotten his name

“Look for a piece of mail, or some prescription medication, with his name on it. By all means, refer to him as ‘honey’, and then make sure that if you exchange numbers, he types his name into your phone.”

You wake up and discover that you don’t really like him at all

“Go home. Just go home. Don’t leave contact details. It’s perfectly fine to suddenly recall that you need to be somewhere immediately. If you want to discourage him from pursuing you, say that you’re late for a meeting with your probation officer.”

You’ve lost your shoes

“You’ll just have to borrow some thongs from him.”

You have no idea what to say to his flatmates

“You barely have a relationship with him; you certainly needn’t have one with his flatmates! Feel free to hide in his room until it’s time for you to leave. If you do encounter them, just smile, smile, smile – and take comfort in the fact that you’ll likely never see them again.”

You want to turn a walk of shame into a strut of game

“Okay, first up, take a deep breath and relax. Wash your face, put on a fresh coat of lipgloss, and hold your head high. Remember, you could just be the kind of woman who’s always stylish enough to be in heels and an LBD on a Sunday morning.”

You can’t find your underwear

“If there’s no chance you’ll be able to locate them from wherever they were chucked during the throes of passion, just get dressed as if you were never wearing them in the first place.”

You’ve been single for months, and it’s been ages since your last wax

“If you’ve got to the point with someone where this might be an issue, he’s not going to care – if he does, perhaps he’s someone you’re better off not sleeping with. No matter how far along things seem to have progressed, you can always – always – go home if you decide you’d rather not do the deed after all.”