So, you’ve spent half an afternoon preparing for the all-important first date by planning the perfect outfit. Well, it turns out your conversation is way more important – and revealing – than that hot floral mini. Carolin Dahlman, love coach and author of Find Love (Exisle Publishing, $27.99), talks us through what to open up about.

1.  Your latest travel itinerary.

This is a good subject to throw in if the conversation slows down, as most people have done a little travelling. Even if they haven’t, they’ve probably got at least one dream destination in mind.
“This is an excellent topic because most people like to travel and have positive memories they can share and smile about,” says Dahlman. “It also tells you much about what kind of person you’re dating – an adrenalin junkie, a health freak or a gourmet.”

2. Your sense of humour.

Whether it’s goofy, dirty, sarcastic or silly, your funny side can be a terrific way to connect with someone. “It’s great if you can joke or be silly. It removes the ‘job interview’ vibe you often get on first dates,” says Dahlman.
A shared sense of humour is a pretty positive sign that you two work well together, so busting it out early can give you an indication of whether you’re well suited.

3. Your curious side.

This is the time to be nosier than Pinocchio (well, not quite, but definitely remember to ask questions). “Talk about the other person – they love that,” says Dahlman. “Don’t be so overexcited that you talk only about yourself during the date. Ask them questions, follow-up queries, and listen with interest. Don’t sit there talking about how fabulous you are for 30 minutes, followed with, ‘Oh, and what do you do?’.”

4. Your crazy passions.

When people talk about their passions, they light up, and that positivity can be really attractive to others.
“Talk about something that you care about and that shows who you are,” says Dahlman. “Tell the person how you usually spend your weekends. For example, mention the little things that make you smile, like a chai latte in the sun with the paper or going diving.”

5. Your honesty (to an extent).

There’s no point lying about who you are and what you like, but that doesn’t mean you have to immediately lay all your cards on the table. (Do you think he’s going to divulge his weekly World Of Warcraft sessions? Hells no.)
“Be honest, but don’t reveal everything,” advises Dahlman. “There’s no need for lying, but there’s also no need for a hearty D&M about your childhood dramas. Start out light, happy and easy. Even if it feels appropriate to you, the heavy discussion can leave an aftertaste that’ll make your date hesitate tomorrow.”
If all goes well on the first meeting, there’ll be plenty of time for D&Ms in the future.

By Nicole Elphick.

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